Toilet Etiquette

This is not a whimsical look at which urinal you should use and why. This is a rant. A rant about the dirty horrid people that appear to be everywhere.

I go to the toilet more than most people. My wife says I have the bladder of a pea, whereas I say her family are descended from camels (it might explain why she always has the hump).

Using a toilet is a simple thing. Unless you are pissed up in a pub or club there should be no problem hitting porcelain. If you are having troubles use the cubicle, BUT sit on the freaking seat. DO NOT stand up in a cubicle and do an impression of a garden sprinkler. It’s not funny, it is not clever, and some poor bugger has to step in it or clean it up.

If my three year old behaved like that I would be cross, so I expect better from adults.

I’m not finished though, I’m only just getting started. Flush the freaking chain. If it is not ready to flush or does not flush properly on the first try, taken a second and try again. It is quite simple really.

I know sometimes an upset tummy can cause a little bit of a mess in the toilet bowl. It happens to most of us. Those of us with manners use that special brush right next to the bowl to give a quick little clean. Five seconds maximum is all it takes. It is not hard, not much effort.

Washed your hands? We have cleaners here. There is no need to feel you will get dirty by using the washing facilities here. If you clean your hands and use the lovely sterile (ish) Dyson hand dryer you’ll prevent some of those germs spreading.

In short it takes little effort and only a little thought for others to make life a little better for everybody who has to use communal toilets.

Don’t be a dickwad.

Rant over. Sorry about that but I just get fed up with the mess some people leave.

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